I've a feeling this is going to be a very short post ..... both because I've waited six months to put fingers to keyboard and write this--and it is still in process--but also because I am worn out after a very full weekend. {But more about that in a future post!!!}
September 2021 was the month after my trip to visit "back home" in Uganda for the first time after 3.5 years of being gone {as discussed in the previous blog post}. So Uganda and everything that happened there and the ways I perceived I was wronged were more freshly on my heart than they had been for a while.
I'm pulling from my journal and Facebook posts for this entry .... and there's just not a lot about what I want to write about. But I do clearly remember it is something I felt God moving in my heart about during that month - especially the last weekend.
Looking back through my Facebook posts from that month reminded me that's when I started my Slim4Life weight loss plan .... and that I was also having some trouble sleeping. My brother came to visit, and then on Oct. 1st I drove up to Siloam Springs, AR (my favorite little college town) for the John Brown University Homecoming. I remember I was only running on three or four hours of sleep ... and I left around 3:30 a.m. because I couldn't sleep. That trip included getting pulled over by a friendly policeman who was wondering if I was ok after I crossed the lane markers a couple times right in front of him. :(
So based on my recollections now, this ought to be more of an October post - but I'm calling it September anyway. And this is my blog, so we go by my rules :)
Because it was on that early morning drive up to Siloam that I accidentally listened to Grace is Greater: God's Plan to Overcome Your Past, Redeem Your Pain, and Rewrite Your Story by Kyle Idleman for the second time. The first time had been in March 2021, my pervious trip up to Siloam. (Siloam trips are frequently the only times I listen to audio books!)
I don't remember what I thought of it in March 2021 - probably the pain was still, three years after leaving Uganda, too real and too raw for me to process it fully. But in some ways, visiting Uganda in August changed all of that. It gave me greater clarity and healing and the ability to start looking at my experiences there in a different light.
I'm not an audio processor - I process best by seeing things and kinesthetically marking things up. But praise God, Kyle Idleman uses lots of stories and examples in his book, and THOSE definitely spoke to me!!!
Late that afternoon of Oct. 1, I wrote in my journal, "At least half the book focuses on forgiveness, extending the grace we have received to others. And that's a message I need to hear. Because I still harbor an unforgiving spirit toward {name retracted}."
I continued, "I need to see if the CBC library has [Grace is Greater] and/or buy it so that I can use it to go through the process of experiencing showing greater grace in my memory of {several people}. I want to commit to that ..."
I did indeed buy the book! And I started going through it with the book in my hands I think later that month, when I was headed back from our Division of Engagement & Advancement strategic advance (work retreat) in Pennsylvania. But then I got busy with end-of-year stuff, and didn't pick it up again until Feb. 27, 2022. But that's a story for another time.
I had all these songs in this post long before tonight. These are songs that spoke to me back in Sept/Oct 2021. I hope you enjoy them and that they speak to your heart too!
{Somehow the song above has been out for TWO YEARS, but I honestly don't remember hearing it until Sept. 2021!!!}
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