Thinking about what this poster says is almost giving me chills - because, I think .... 4.25 years after my mental breakdown .... I'm finally able to begin seeing this as practically true in my life.
I am no longer the relatively naive 20-something who freaked out when she quit sleeping and was slapped with sudden-onset, severe depression. I'm now a 30-something who is learning {albeit slowly} to maintain a steady course of forward progress in the midst of emotional/mental/spiritual/social/etc. ups and downs. I'm continuing to build a toolkit of coping skills and safe people that I can turn loose in my life when it seems overwhelming.
And through every step of that journey, God has been faithful. So, so, so, so, so immeasurably faithful. His presence in my life hasn't always looked like I wished {in the moment} that it would ...... sometimes QUITE the contrary--so much so that it felt like an absence. BUT GOD. He HAS been present and faithful every moment and every day. So yes, this song at the end of this post is a repeat - but it's what was playing as I turned this post from a simple Facebook share into a full-fledged blogpost and typed this paragraph, and it FITS.
{cue break in writing where Esther binge-listens to this song on repeat multiple times and decides to read the lyrics as a prayer of praise & thanksgiving, (and yes, confession ....) at her small group from church tomorrow night}
I have so many thoughts right now, I'm not sure where this post goes next. The cynic in me wants to say "It's all just the hypomania talking!!!" And yes, I do think that is partially true. But let's rewind to that paragraph where I was talking about God's faithfulness. Because that's not where this post was initially headed. I got there, praise Paraclete, but I was just going to talk about my side of the equation.
Upon more mature reflection, I think I need to let the rest of my thoughts simmer and not write/post them in the heat of the muse/moment. So I'm going to end this here for now. :)
Written April 23, 2022
No comments:
Post a Comment