November 2018 was, as I said in the title, a month of major adjustments as my head wrapped around my probable diagnosis of Bipolar 2. I posted a lot on Facebook again: Many times about God's faithfulness and what He was teaching/reminding me of; but I was also listening to my mind/body about when I needed to take breaks from my busy schedule.
And God was SO very faithful in that month! In addition to being ever-present as I drew near to me in my distress, God also took the housing situation that I was not looking forward to and used it to bless me in multiple ways!
First and foremost, my hostess became quite the motherly figure to me - buying my groceries out of her own pocket, inviting me to the writing club she had with some friends, helping me through the ups and downs, etc! Secondly, after almost a whole month of not attending church for various reasons, I quickly fell in love with my host-mom's church.
Boy, did God use that!!! :D
The pastor had an old car (I forget what year of station wagon it was, but it was rather a clunker) that he was getting a couple things worked on. When that finally finished, the car became "mine" for the remainder of my time in Portland! It was SUCH an answer to prayer to have a car to use for the long commute to the Lahash office, rather than riding a couple buses!
Even more important than the car was my relationship with the pastor's wife. One Sunday, I felt impressed to go to another lady (the children's pastor) and tell her how much her sermonette to the kiddos that morning had encouraged me too. I admitted to someone I didn't know, I think for the first time, that I had been diagnosed with bipolar. And she immediately urged me to talk to Sarah, the lead pastor's wife, because Sarah also had bipolar disorder!
So, I reached out to Pastor Jeremy and asked if he could have his wife get in touch with me--and she did! I honestly don't remember how many times we met, but Sarah was someone I could share with about my condition, knowing that there would be no judgment but only understanding because she had traveled that road before me.
That was SUCH an encouragement! And I also took great courage from her willingness to openly live with bipolar. It wasn't a secret she felt she had to hide, even as a pastor's wife. PLUS, Sarah is a writer too!!! She definitely became a role model to me of how one can LIVE abundantly, even with bipolar--and how that journey can be shared. If it weren't for her, I probably wouldn't have ever started this blog!
And just last month (in Dec. 2021), when I had something come up in my work life about the bipolar affecting my ability to receive and process criticism of my writing, Sarah is the one I turned to. She fit me into her busy schedule that week, and we talked and prayed together about it. So even though we hadn't been in touch for quite a while, she is STILL a blessing to me!
As Servant Teams participants, we spent the month learning more about missional theology and raising funds for our joint expenses. And as I had seen so many times before, God blessed my part of that financially through His people! Our team's big push was on Giving Tuesday, and between all of our efforts, God brought in nearly $15,000 for our trip and expenses!
Finally, a month after I had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, I summoned the courage to put that out there on Facebook. Some people, I'm sure, disagree with my decision to walk openly with this mental struggle/illness that I have. But for me, it's part of the authenticity. And through it, I hope and believe God has been able to encourage others as well.
That same week, I finally started the new medication that my new psychiatrist wanted me to slowly ease into taking (because of the serious side effect it can have). With that delayed decision, it also meant that I wouldn't be leaving for East Africa with my team in January. I would need a few more weeks to be monitored on the medication. So after long discussions with the Lahash director and the Servant Teams leaders, we agreed that I would go a month later than the team. That wasn't my preference, and I questioned my decision to drag my feet on the medication front. But I was still ok with it. I even began to make tentative plans to visit Uganda and New Hope over Easter!
But there were still more changes that were ahead, as is usually the case. December would be one of the hardest months yet, with at-the-time devastating consequences.
In God's mercy, I didn't know that yet :)
This song came up on my randomized "Refocusing" music collection list as I started writing this blog post. And it's so very true and fits in with the theme of this post!
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